I was born in the 70s and grew up in a rural area where it was considered perfectly normal for the eldest child to quit school so younger siblings could continue their education.
Back then, my family was not well off. My parents worked hard but still struggled to make ends meet.
I was a decent student. In fact, my teachers encouraged me to continue my studies. But one day, my parents told me: “The family is struggling. Quit school and help us out for a few years. Make sure your younger siblings can finish school and find stable jobs. One day, our house and land will all be yours.”
And I believed them. At that time, families like mine lived by the idea of sacrifice. Older siblings sacrificed for younger ones. The eldest child sacrificed for the family. Everyone worked together with the belief that one day they would all share the rewards.
I started working at a very young age and did not get to spend the first money I earned on myself. Instead, it went toward paying off debts, house repairs and my siblings’ school fees. Whether a sibling entered university, another graduated and started a career, or the family faced a major expense, I was always the first person they turned to.
I never kept score because I genuinely believed I was building a future for my own family. I thought that even if I had to sacrifice a little today, nothing would truly be lost in the end.
Thirty years have passed. My siblings all received a proper education, secured stable careers and now enjoy lives far better than the one my parents had. As for me, because I left school early, I have always had less stable jobs. My youth slipped away worrying about earning enough to get by. By the time I reached middle age, I suddenly realized I had accumulated almost no assets of my own.
 |
|
Some eldest children gave up on opportunities to support their family, believing they would one day inherit their parents’ assets. Illustration photo by Pixabay |
The house I live in and the land our family built up over many years are still registered under my parents’ names. None of the money I contributed over several decades was ever reflected in any legal ownership.
Back then, my parents encouraged me to sacrifice for the family, believing that one day all of us would share both the responsibilities and the rewards. But as society changed, so did people’s thinking. My siblings now see things differently.
They value financial independence and believe our parents should keep their assets for themselves to support their retirement, cover medical expenses and avoid becoming a burden on their children.
Of course, I do not think that is wrong in general. I do not oppose my parents keeping their property for their old age. That is entirely their right. What pains me is that they act like the promises they made all those years ago never existed.
No one seems to talk about or acknowledge the opportunities I gave up—my education, personal development and the chance to amass my own assets—to put our family first. But I also do not dare ask for anything for fears of being seen as calculating or even unfilial.
These days, people often say we should start planning our finances early, become financially independent and build up savings for old age.
I completely agree. But people like me never had that opportunity. We spent our youth supporting our families, and by the time we looked back, middle age had arrived while our education, personal wealth and opportunities to build a better future for ourselves had slipped away.
*This story was submitted by a reader and translated into English. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.
Sourcee.vnexpress.net
